A 10-Step Guide to Potty Training in One Day

Several of my mommy friends have asked what method I used when potty training Allie. And I have to admit -- I really really lucked out when it came to potty training my daughter. She caught on super fast and had the concept down in one day, was going to the bathroom regularly in 3 days but still wearing plastic underwear over her regular undies "just in case," and was fully potty trained by the end of that week, rarely having an accident and telling me almost every time she needed to go.

We had some practice rounds before we actually started potty training. Allie got to pick out her underwear...

(and see how not to wear them)

... and practice with her baby doll.

Before you read the rest of my post, take a few minutes and read this blog post by Krysta Moes. Krysta's post is the method I followed for potty training Allie in one day, so you'll need to read about it first or some of the things I mention later on won't make much sense. I followed her method pretty strictly, with a few alterations since she is a stay at home mom and I work outside the home and some of the things she did just weren't practical for me.

OK, have you read Krysta's blog post? Great -- continue on. After potty training Allie, these are a few little tips that I learned along the way.

1. Wait until they're ready.
2. 'Potty trained' does not equal 'accident-free.'
3. Be prepared to be inconvenienced.
4. Stop, drop, and go!
5. Reinforce!
6. Expect the unexpected.
7. Be prepared to talk about it.
8. Praise, praise, praise!
9. Relapse.
10. This, too, shall pass.

1. Wait until they're ready.
I cannot stress this point enough. Just because you're ready to not change any more poopy diapers doesn't necessarily mean your child is ready to stop pooping in her diaper. If you try to potty train before your child is ready, be prepared for lots of tears, frustration and accidents. Potty training should be a positive experience for your child, and if you're constantly yelling at her because she didn't tell you she had to pee pee and now there's a giant wet spot on the couch -- chances are she's not quite ready yet.

A few signs to look for are: Is she telling you her diaper is dirty and recognizing when she's wet or has poopy. (Most kids often recognize poopy first). Try sitting her on the potty and see if she has any interest in going? Does she take her dolls or stuffed animals to the potty? Does she show any curiosity when you go to the bathroom? Does she hand you her turd when she poops, all proud of it? (sorry, super gross I know, but this actually happened to me).

Keep in mind, just because your best friend's kiddo is ready to potty train does not mean that your child is ready. And if another kid the same age is successfully potty training, that doesn't mean your kiddo is developmentally behind, or whatever. Kids reach milestones at all different times in their childhood, and it's important to recognize that when determining if your kid is ready to start potty training.

2. 'Potty trained' does not equal 'accident-free.'
The first time Allie had an accident after she was potty trained (which was about a week after), I remember thinking, "What in the world just happened here? I thought she was potty trained!"

I called my mom (as I always do when I need to ask her mommy advice, vent, cry, or figure out why my brisket broth won't thicken) and whined about how Allie had an accident and she just got finished potty training. Very matter of factly, my mom said, "Yeah, accidents will happen, so expect them. You had several after I potty trained you." (Side note: when your mother grew up in the Bronx and your father is an engineer Navy veteran, don't always expect sugar-coating and sympathy from your parents).

"So, like, how often will she still pee on the couch? A lot? Once a week or so? What?"

I could almost picture my mom shrugging. "Not sure. As long as she does, but I wouldn't sweat it. She potty trained fast, and it's perfectly normal to have accidents. Don't make a big deal out of them. Just clean them up, remind her where she's supposed to go potty, and don't keep bringing it up to her. You don't want to turn it into a fight or a negative experience for her, and you definitely don't want to make her feel bad for having an accident."

Best advice ever. As time went on (for Allie, just a couple weeks or so), her little accidents here and there became less and less, til they pretty much stopped altogether. Sometimes, even to this day, if she gets really involved in doing something, she'll wet herself, and I just remind her that when her body is telling her to go potty, she needs to stop what she's doing and go, and she can always return to whatever event had her so enraptured that she forgot to pee in the potty.

3. Be prepared to be inconvenienced
There's no way to sugar coat this -- potty training is one of the most annoying, time-consuming, frustrating, gross, disgusting, hardest parts of parenthood I've had to experience thus far. A toddler doesn't initially recognize that 'bathroom urge' and will often ignore it and continue doing whatever she's doing while she pees or poops, not realizing that going to the bathroom in her pants is not what she's going to do for the rest of her life. Potty training is essentially teaching her to recognize her body's need to use the bathroom and do so in the toilet. But in order to get them to actually use the bathroom on their own, you first need to teach them how to recognize when they have to go to the bathroom.

At first, it's 100% your job to keep track of that urge for her. By taking her to the bathroom at 15 minute intervals all day long, you're showing her that going to the bathroom is part of her daily routine. Every 15 minutes, you're reminding her to stop what she's doing and focus her mind on going to the bathroom.

By running her and her baby doll back and forth from the accident to the toilet 10x every time she (or the baby) has an accident, you're instilling in her that going to the bathroom anywhere other than the potty isn't acceptable, but in a fun way and in a way she can understand.

The first day of complete dedication to potty training was fun for me, and I think it was fun for Allie. I had a plan laid out, I'd gotten both of us psyched up for it, bought all the supplies and things that we would need, and was ready to do this thing. And we had a blast.

Helping baby Atticus drink out of her new big girl cup

Drinking out of her new big girl cup

The second day, however, was a little harder, because by that point, I wasn't able to devote an entire day to solely potty training. And at that point, I was still setting the timer and taking her to sit on the potty every 15 minutes. On Day 1, where potty training was all we were doing, that was fine. But when I'm trying to fold laundry, clean the house, do my freezer cooking, and basically normal weekend daily routine stuff, having to stop every 15 minutes and take her to the bathroom got old. Really old. Really fast. But that's what Krysta said to do, so I persisted.

By the third day, I was just so over the potty training thing and ready to be done. We hadn't been out of the house in three days, and I was just so tempted to put a pull-up on her so I didn't have to live my day in 15-minute increments. But as much as I wanted to whip out a pull-up, I gritted my teeth, put her in a pair of underwear, and kept setting that timer and taking her to the bathroom. At that point, Allie was pretty much over it too. The novelty of potty training had worn off for both of us and was long gone, and Allie didn't want to stop playing or watching a movie or whatever she was doing to go to the bathroom. Several times, the only way I got her to try going without it turning into a major fight was reminding her that if she went, she got to pick a Skittle from the treat jar.

Looking back on it, and even the day after, I was so glad I didn't cave to pull ups. Pull ups are basically glorified diapers, and the point of starting her off in underwear and never looking back is so if she does have an accident, she immediately feels that uncomfortable feeling of having wet underwear. A pull up doesn't really give that feeling of uncomfortableness, and just acts like a diaper. A pull up would have negated all that hard work we'd done for the past two days.

Justin took off work on Monday to stay with Allie at home so she could have four solid days of potty training at home. When I got home from work that evening, the first thing he said as I walked in the door was, "There are a lot of 15-minute segments in the day."

So yeah, prepare to put your life on hold for several days and be totally inconvenienced.

4. Stop, drop, and go!
This kind of goes along with point #3 above, about being inconvenienced. When a kid first starts potty training, and gets to the point where she's telling you on her own that she has to go, she means she has to go right now. As adults, we give ourselves ample time to actually get to the bathroom. Newly potty-trained kids don't. They don't understand that it takes a few seconds, sometimes even minutes, to actually make it to the bathroom, get that potty seat on the toilet, pull their pants down, and sit on the toilet. And that's if you're at a place where a bathroom is readily available and accessible, which isn't always a guarantee, like if you're at a restaurant and there's a line for the bathroom.

One time, after Allie was pretty routinely telling me when she had to go, I made the mistake of telling her, "OK, just hold on a minute. I'm almost finished glazing this ham and then I'll take you as soon as I get it back in the oven."

Well, she couldn't wait even the minute or two that it took me to finish up with the ham, and went potty in her undies. At first I was a little frustrated with her and was all, "Allie, I told you I would be right there. Why didn't you just hold it?" And she very tearfully answered, "I tried, Mommy, but I had to go."

And that's when it dawned on me that it would take time and practice for her to figure out that she needed to give herself enough time to actually get to the bathroom.

This presented to be a major problem when, a couple months after she was potty trained, she and I drove up to Durham, NC, for the weekend, to meet up halfway with my parents and attend a family reunion. Since it was a good four-hour drive, I did put her in a pull up, just in case. As we approached every rest stop and restaurant, I asked her if she needed to go potty. "No." And then like less than five minutes later, "Mommy, I have to go potty." Well, there wasn't another rest stop for another ten minutes or so, so she went in her pull up. Even after a good three months of being potty trained, she still was having trouble giving herself enough time to get to a bathroom. She was doing fine at home, but she didn't recognize that when we were on the road, bathrooms weren't always readily available.

It takes time for a kid to learn how to gauge how long they can hold their bathroom, and while they figure it out, it's our jobs as parents to be ready to drop everything we're doing when nature calls for them.

5. Reinforce!
Each child is different, but for Allie, even after she could tell me when she had to go, and especially when we were out running errands or whatever, I would remind her that if she needed to go potty, to tell me.

Trust me, it gets old, really fast. For you, and for her. But that constant reinforcement helps solidify the potty concept in their brain.

6. Expect the unexpected.
There will be instances in life that will cause a hiccup in potty training, even for the most experienced potty-going kid.

Allie's was automatic flushing toilets. You know the kind I'm talking about -- the toilets that flush the minute you sit down, but when you're finished your business and actually want them to flush, you have to do a little jig in front of the sensor to activate the flush.

The first time Allie experienced an automatic flushing toilet, she had just finished peeing and was about to wipe, then whoooooosh! The toilet flushed and swirled so vigorously that water droplets shot up out of the toilet.

I've never seen a kid bolt straight up off a toilet as fast as Allie did.

And for the longest time, any time we went in a bathroom and she saw that dreaded little black box on the toilet, she would burst into tears, stiffen her legs, and refuse to even sit on the potty, no matter how badly she had to go.

Eventually, after multiple times of me promising that it wouldn't flush on her, that I would put my hand over that little black box sensor so it wouldn't go off at all, and me actually going myself to show her it wouldn't flush, she got over her fear of automatic flushing toilets and is now proud of the fact that she can go potty on one.

Each kid's little 'unexpected hiccup' might be different. For one of my friend's kid, he became afraid to poop when he got constipated once and it hurt to poop. Another Allie example is one time she fell in the toilet when she first started not using her potty seat and was scared to sit on the potty for awhile...

...but she outgrew that too and now we laugh about it. Just expect the unexpected.

7. Be prepared to talk about it.
Little kids love to talk. All parents of toddlers know that. And they mostly like to talk about the major events going on in their life, and they don't really have a filter yet on what's appropriate conversation material.

So when they're potty training, be prepared for them to bring up their new bathroom skill -- to family, friends, and random people in the grocery store.

No joke.

We were in Publix, perusing the aisles in hopes of jogging my memory since I had forgotten my grocery list, and I stopped to look at the Campbell's soup section. A middle-aged man was also studying the soup, and Allie announced to him, "Me went poopy in the potty last night."

I immediately jumped all over that, and was like, "Shhh, Allie, we don't tell people that," which only made her repeat it louder, but thankfully the man was very gracious and told her what a big girl she was.

Allie also started classifying her poops. As in, 'big poopy' and 'little poopy.' And she's not shy about sharing which kind she did -- to me, to Justin, to my MIL, and again, to random strangers. And she also expects us to be just as forthcoming with her, which is evidenced by her knocking on the bathroom door, "Mommy! You doin' a big poopy or a little poopy?"

Smh.

8. Praise, praise, praise!
Allie loves it every time I tell her she's doing a good job with something or that I'm proud of her. All kids thrive on praise and compliments, from when they're learning their alphabet to when they score a winning soccer goal, and potty training is no different. Each time she successfully went to the bathroom, especially when she was first learning, I went over the top to show her how proud I was of her, even when I sat her on the toilet and she didn't have to go.

And as time goes on, you don't necessarily have to praise them every time they go, but keep reminding them how proud you are of the fact that they're going to the bathroom in the potty, and how awesome that is.

I also had different milestones for her. Like, when she went an entire week with no accidents, she could pick a toy. Then, when she went a month, she got to pick another toy. Things like that. That way, it gives her an achievable goal to work towards.

Once she was fully potty trained, she got to pick out a big prize. She chose a Mickey Mouse couch and a Mr. Potato Head.

9. Relapse.
There might be a time when your experienced potty-goer relapses to their diaper days. It could just be because it's easier to go in their pants, or it could be if there's a lot going on in their young lives, or there really could be no reason for it at all.

Allie relapsed when I went to the hospital back in May. She'd been potty trained for almost five or six months, and wasn't really having any accidents, not even periodically. When I was put in the hospital, she relapsed so badly that she was constantly wearing pull ups all day, every day.

Little kids don't have the emotional maturity to express their feelings in an appropriate and constructive manner, which is why they start having temper tantrums. They also don't have control over many things in their little life. Going to the bathroom was one area of her life that Allie had complete control over, and peeing in her underwear was her way of expressing that it was not OK that she didn't have her mommy at home for 13 days and that things weren't right in her world.

When I got out of the hospital, I did have to work with her again about the proper place to go to the bathroom, kind of potty training a second time, but she almost immediately went back to being potty trained and the process wasn't nearly as drastic, time consuming and frustrating as the first time around.

10. This, too, shall pass.
With every stage of parenting, there will be positive and negative aspects. Potty training is no different, and at first, the negatives far outweigh the positives. You'll be discouraged, frustrated, tired, peed on. You'll be confused. You'll wonder if your kiddo will be in diapers the rest of their lives because they're just not getting it.

Here's a little secret -- you're not alone. Every parent who's potty trained has felt the same way at one time or another. And you know what? It's OK to be frustrated. It's OK to be inconvenienced. It's OK to be sick of potty training.

But there will be a day when it just 'clicks,' and she'll suddenly just get it, and then all the positives will start.

No more diapers.

No diaper bags.

No more swim diapers.

The fact that the pants you thought she was outgrowing actually still fit her when she's not wearing a saggy baggy diaper.

That look of elation on her face when she 'gets it' and that feeling of pride for her swelling up. The realization that your little girl/boy is not so little anymore.

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Allie has been potty trained for over a year now, and in the last couple months, she's started taking herself to the bathroom. Most of the time, she doesn't even tell me anymore, unless she has to go poop and needs help wiping. Accidents are very rare, and it's been the longest time since I last bought pull ups for when she's home. Going to the bathroom is basically second nature for her now.

A few changes I made from Krysta's blog, since I work full time outside the home, is I still put her in pull ups for night time and nap time. Krysta went cold turkey undies 24/7, and according to her blog, after a few weeks, her kids were potty trained through the night. I would've loved to do that, but it just wasn't practical for me to have to change pee sheets throughout the night and every morning and then be at work at 8 a.m. So Allie still wears pull ups at night, but more nights than not lately she's woken up dry. Sometimes she even wakes up during the middle of the night and calls out for me that she has to go.

Her daycare lady puts pull ups on her during nap time, but Allie rarely ever naps, and when she does, she almost consistently wakes up dry, so we're pretty much to the point where she can go in undies to nap.

I hope these tips are helpful and maybe even encouraging to all the mommies planning to potty train. Please don't think I have it all together, especially when it comes to potty training, because I don't. Krysta's blog was a lifesaver for me, and Allie just caught on super fast. This was just my experience with potty training, and some lessons I learned throughout the potty journey.