Mirror Mirror

Excuse our messy hair, my greasy face, and her (again) lack of pants/shorts. 

I told her to make a silly face . . . 

And then I told her to say cheese . . .  

And then I told her to stick out her tongue . . .  

And then she tried to copy my silly face.

Miss Manners

Something embarrassing seems to happen EVERY TIME we go to Sams Club.

Last time, Allie announced to the entire, full women's bathroom that "Mommy go poopy! Yaaay Mommy!"

Today, we had just checked out and were heading over to get our receipt punched. As we walked past the Customer Service desk, a man in line coughed loudly and pretty violently. I didn't pay too much attention, as I was more focused on digging my receipt out of my wallet.

"Hey! HEY!"

My head jerked up as my small, sweet little daughter belted out across the aisle toward the Customer Service desk.

And as I watched in horror, several people in line at the desk turned around, including the coughing man, and Allie loudly fake coughed, while very pointedly covering her mouth with her hand.

I swear she does stuff like this on purpose, to get back at me for trying to teach her manners (like covering her mouth when she coughs). :) Well, on the bright side, I suppose she's learning!

everything . . . and nothing

Last Friday, I drove through the McDonald's drive through and specified that my order was 'to go.' Then a butterfly flew in my window right into my face. As one of my friends told me -- the butterfly was the universe's way of telling me to keep my mouth shut. He just showed up a little late.

A few Sundays ago, while I was getting ready for church, Allie took it upon herself to slather the dog nose-to-tail with lotion. That would be the Eucerin Intensive Repair super thick, greasy lotion. Poor Dingo. He's such a good sport and he gets mad props for that. He also got a pretty intense bath later that day.

Our townhouse complex has been in the process of re-doing everyone's back porches for about the past month or so now. We got a letter in the mail about the maintenance guys coming today to change out the screens and put the final touches on the paint job, but that was like a week ago and I have way too much going on to remember stuff like that. So this morning while I was at work, I got a call from the office that I needed to come home and move all the stuff on my back porch.

My co-worker/friend Jaclyn so very sweetly offered to go with me. Now, if I were a fibber, this would be the part where I mentioned how easy it was to clean out my back porch, since I'm just so awesome and always keep every inch of my house uber organized and neat.

Yeah, no. I found randomness on my back porch that I totally didn't even remember was there, from my old close-contact jumping saddle to a very withered, dead Mother's Day plant that Allie made at daycare.

Oh yeah, and a few spiders.

So anyone who knows anything about me knows that I absolutely HATE spiders. I fear and detest them with every fiber of my squinty Asian being. And so does Jaclyn. Let's just say there was much girly screaming coming from the back porch as we moved bins and discovered webs upon webs of gross, creepy, disgusting spiders.

I tried to be brave, but finally just couldn't handle the extreme spider-age anymore. So I got the bright idea that maybe the painting guys waiting patiently out in my front yard could save the day.

"Hey, could you guys come help us real quick?"
The guys put out their cigarettes. "Yeah, sure. You got something heavy?"
"Um, well kind of, but not really. There's just this really big spider . . . "

They could've at least *tried* to hide their guffaws.

I hate spiders.

A day in Bit-land

I worked from home yesterday, so to keep Bit occupied while I got caught up on emails and wrote some documentation, I put on 'Happy Feet' for her. She sat and very intently watched several minutes of it, then ran over to her toy box and found her rubber toy penguin. She stood him on the coffee table and made him dance, all the while saying her adorable "waddle waddle waddle." I was super impressed, especially because I didn't tell her that the movie was about penguins. She figured it out on her own. 

She's recently entered a little phase called 'No Pants Ever.' Of course, this phase would coincide with my attempt to let her assert her independence and personality whenever possible. Her outfit choice for yesterday: pajama shirt, no pants, her right shoe.

She's also developed an intense fascination with the animals lately. Not sure why she's suddenly become so obsessed with them, as we've always had pets since before she was born, but her bedtime routine takes about 3x as long now, since she insists on finding and kissing the dog and all 3 cats before she goes to bed. (She'd probably kiss the bunnies and gecko too if I let her, but I have to draw the line somewhere).

Yesterday, I left her playing in the living room so I could start dinner. When I left, she was entertaining herself with her barn and farm animals. One of the cats, Muffintop, was snoozing on the couch.

I was in the kitchen for maybe a total of 5 minutes. I came back to the living room, and saw poor Muffintop like this, with Allie standing in front of him, saying "pee-boo!" (peek-a-boo)

And potty training. Oh, potty training. One of the cats (I think it was poor Muffintop again) used the litter box. Allie darted into the bathroom, yelling "ALL DONE," emerged with a handful of toilet paper, and promptly tried to wipe the cat. (Funny side note: she tried to wipe him in exactly the same place she wipes herself -- in-between his front legs).

So then I asked her if she needed to use the potty. She nodded, yanked her pants down, and said, "Drop trou." 

Um, what?

I blame her father for that one. :)

She calls me Momma . . . that's not my name

The History of Mother's Names
by Allie Hadel

1. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (age 1-7 months)
2. Bob (7 months - circa 12 months)*
3. Momma (circa 12 months - 17 months)**
4. Mommy (17 months - almost 22 months)**
5. Khaki [Kathy] (almost 22 months - present)

*For about 5 months, Mommy was 'Bob' and Daddy was 'Dodo.' So the parents of the household were Bob and Dodo.

**Momma and Mommy are interchangeable for the most part.

Hoodie Ninja Phonetic Alphabet

My co-workers and I were talking today (see, you guys FINALLY made it on the blog!) :) about the police alphabet. One of my jobs is to answer the phones at work, and my co-workers are forever teasing me about my made-up-on-the-spot phonetic alphabet when I'm talking to a customer ('d' as in duck, 'm' as in . . . um . . . machine gun . . .).

You get the idea.

My supervisor suggested that I make up my own phonetic alphabet and post it on my blog, and I thought -- what a great idea!

Just for reference and comparison, click here for the actual police phonetic alphabet.

And here is mine. I'm going to call it the Hoodie Ninja Phonetic Alphabet:

a - airplane
b - botfly (note: probably only my horse friends will understand this one)
c - catheter
d - duck
e - elephant
f - flatulation (also note: I realized that I got this word and 'flagellation' mixed up today)
g - Grover
h - hippo
i - igloo
j - jiraffe . . . oh wait . . .
k - karate
l - Lucky Charms
m - machine gun
n - narcolepsy
o - oval
p - poop
q - q-tip
r - renal failure
s - spleen
t - t-shirt
u - uvula
v - violin
w - Wem
x - x-ray
y - Yoohoo
z - zebra

While You Were Sleeping

A conglomeration of things I say to my husband while snoozing. I'm sure I'll be adding to this list weekly:

--------------------

I fell asleep while watching TV one night.

Justin: "Hey babe, let's go to bed."

Me: "I'm afraid!"

Justin: "What?"

Me: "I'm afraid!"

Justin: "You're afraid?"

Me: "Nope."

Justin: "So you're not afraid then?"

Me: "Moooooop!" [then falling back asleep]

A little while later . . . 

Justin: "Come on babe. Wake up and let's go to bed."

Me: "HENRY!"

Justin: "Who?"

Me: "Henry."

Justin "Who's Henry?"

Me: "Nope."

--------------------

Me: [in the middle of the night, sitting bolt upright in bed] "WOOOOOO-OOOOO!"
Justin: "Um, what's up?"
Me: "There's a spider!"
Justin: "For real?"
Me: "No, in my dream. A big one."
Justin: "Okay. Good night."

--------------------

Justin informed me that the following conversation took place in the middle of the night:

Me: [shaking him awake and laughing hysterically] "Babe, guess what? I just emailed a guy named Jack, and then I realized his name isn't Jack, it's Cynthia!"
Justin: " . . . um, what? What are you talking about?"
Me: "Oh. I don't know. Never mind."
Justin: "Babe, go back to sleep."
Me: "Okay."

--------------------

Again, one night I fell asleep while watching the 11:00 news:

Justin: "Babe, let's go to bed. You're falling asleep."
Me: "No, I'm not. I'm watching it."
Justin: "Oh, okay. Then what's it about?"
Me: "Um, it's about the space shuttle flying over Washington."
Justin: "Actually, no. It's about the gay pride parade. So let's go to bed."

kaleidoscope

The following random tidbits from our recent life are in no particular order of importance, humor or time.

- We are HARD CORE in potty training mode. I think Bit's been ready for awhile, but it took me about a month to realize that when she was saying "poot," she actually meant "pee." (Note: "poop" is "poop" for her, so that's why I didn't think it meant "poop.") And when you're a potty training family, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, translates to potty training -- from the cat going "potty" in the litter box, to the child clapping excitedly and yelling "Yay Mommy! Yaaay!" when I walk out of the bathroom after doing my business.

- While we're on the subject of potty training, I also discovered that the swirling water of a flushing toilet looks very enticing to a toddler. Enticing enough to stick her hands in, then wipe all over her face. Um . . . EUW!

(I have a few pictures of Allie sitting on the pot that I sent to a few family members, and as always, she is SUPER adorable, but I won't embarrass the poor child by posting them, here or on Facebook). :)

- Allie has somehow learned how to fake sleep/snore. She also knows that we can see her through the monitor camera above her crib. So when she goes to bed, I'll hear a loud, fake "hoooonk....shoooooo" followed by fake snoring, followed by her glancing up at the camera and waving to me before starting the whole process again.

- Her vocabulary and communication skills have really blossomed over the past few weeks. She says "danks!" (thanks) when I hand her something, "beh-boo" (bless you) when she hears someone sneezing, both without being prompted! She also signs "Jesus" every night before we say bedtime prayers. My aunt had taught her this sign once when we were up in New York last month, and she remembers it and uses it in context.

- I've decided on this year's Halloween costumes for our family. Allie will be Boo from Monsters Inc., I'll be Mike Wazowski, and Justin will be Sully. I think we can definitely pull it off!

- Our cats find sick pleasure in sitting in 1) my laundry basket full of clean clothes, or 2) the piles of clean clothes that I've already folded. I was folding laundry the other day, and had already kicked Olive out of the basket several times. Wem sauntered over, and I warned him to not sit in my laundry.

Clearly, he didn't listen.

- I double French braided Bit's hair this weekend. It turned out pretty nice, if I do say so myself. :)

- There's just something so precious and innocent about a sleeping child.

- A few weeks ago when we got home from daycare, I turned around to tell her that we were home, and found her in this pose, looking bored as heck.

- When I collapsed at work and went to the ER, Mrs. Amber sent me this picture, with the caption: "Blowing mommy a kiss. Praying for you!" Made my heart smile.

- I told my 4 year old stepson, Davis, that he looked spiffy. He tugged on his pant legs and said, "Yeah, these are 4T."

- Mrs. Amber took the kiddos on a field trip to Giggle Bugs Bounce House. The last time we were at Monkey Joe's, Allie refused to go in any of the giant blow-up bounce houses or slides, but attempted to crawl up the ski ball machine in the arcade area. She seemed to have fun at Giggle Bugs though.

And that's all for now.

Bad luck comes in 3s. Or in my case -- 4s.

They say that bad things come in 3s.

1. Fell out of the attic and dislocated my ankle.
2. Collapsed at work and had to be taken by ambulance to the ER.

So my plan was to wrap myself up in a double layer of bubble wrap, lock myself in my house and not come out for about a year, in hopes of avoiding bad thing #3.

Then about 2 weeks ago, my friend Angela and I decided to take our girls and go to the mall for a lunch date and shopping. A seemingly innocent outing.

3. Rear-ended an SUV while driving to the mall, causing the hood of my trusty Corolla to slightly resemble a tent.

Now being involved in a car accident is bad enough, even when no one is seriously hurt. Angela and I suffered some minor whiplash, but thank God our girls were OK. Tali (Ang's 3 month old) slept through the entire thing and Allie was content to snack on organic Sesame Street crackers.

Also, being in a car accident is bad enough when it's your fault.

Oh yeah -- and being in a car accident, when it's your fault, when the vehicle you rear-ended is a shiny-brand-spankin-new 2012 BMW SUV just plain SUCKS.

As I told my mom, hey, it was my first accident after 11 years of driving. I had to make it memorable.

The Beemer lady was super nice though. I think she thought I was a lot younger than I actually am, because when I mentioned to her that I've never had a car accident before, she kindly put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Oh sweetie, how long have you been driving?" And when I told her, "Um, like 11 years," she responded, "Oh. Wait, how old are you again?"

Oh, and before I forget:

3.5. Dropped and broke my camera because my hands were shaking when I was trying to get pictures of the damage to both vehicles.

The police officer eventually arrived. He gave me a ticket, but said all I have to do is show for my court date with a letter from my insurance and he'll drop the ticket.

Here's what my poor car looked like:

A few days later, the auto adjuster from my insurance came out to assess the damage to poor Dietfried (my Corolla). She didn't think he was totaled, so I took him to Image Collision Repair and Body Shop, and in the mean time, got a sweet rental car to tide me over. A 2012 Chevy Impala, to be exact.

Fast forward to this past Sunday. We were on our way to church in the rental car, and I pulled into the turn lane on Butler Road.

BAM!

4. Hit the curb, blew out the right front tire in the rental car, and bent the rim.

I mean, really?

Another call to the insurance, a 2nd accident report, a 2nd auto adjuster, and now I have a Chrysler 200 as a rental for my rental.

You know it's bad when you walk into Enterprise rent-a-car and all the guys behind the desk look up and say, "Oh hi, Mrs. Hadel!"

Bitty-isms for the day

It's 4:13 a.m. on Wednesday morning. I conked out on the couch earlier while watching the Olympics, so now I have a second wind and can't fall asleep. I'm sure I'll regret this in 2.5 hours when I have to get up for work, but in the mean time, I'll write!

The past few days have been fraught with Bitty-isms. She just has the cutest, funniest, adventuresome, expressive little personality, and she's such a bright spot in my day.

Here's a peek at the awesomeness that is my child:

1) While lying in her crib and trying to fall asleep, Allie has discovered the art of taking her pajama pants off. A couple nights ago, I heard a commotion upstairs, so I checked her baby monitor. She was sitting there, pants-less, running around in circles in her crib, shaking her pants around and rubbing them on her face. I went up to re-dress her, but she was very intent on snuggling with said pants. So I put her pj pants on, grabbed a pair of her leggings out of the drawer, and handed them to her to snuggle with. A little while later, I heard more commotion, so I checked the monitor again. She had taken her pants off AGAIN, put them on her head, and had donned the leggings -- correctly, I might add! Quite impressive that my almost 21-month-old was able to put on her own pants -- leggings even!

2) On the way home from daycare yesterday, Allie and I were sitting at a stoplight. All of a sudden, I heard excited squeals coming from the backseat. "Momma! MOMMA! Mo? Mo . . . peeeas?" (translation of the Bitty-speak: Momma, momma, more, more please.) I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw her frantically signing "more" and "please," followed by pointing out the window. There was an old man sitting in the car next to us, chowing down on an ice cream cone. And as I looked over at him, he looked over at Allie and me. "Momma! Mo mo, peeeas!" continued from the backseat. And of course, lots of pointing. So by way of explanation, I rolled my window down and called out to the man, "My daughter likes your ice cream." Thank God the light turned green at that exact moment.

3) My almost 21-month-old TOTALLY pants-ed me yesterday. I blame her father for this.

4) Allie's latest favorite game: putting a bucket upside down over her head and calling out "Momma!" until I say, "Wheeeere's Bitty?" and she laughs, pulls the bucket off her head, and yells, "Pee-boo!" (peek-a-boo). It's the cutest thing ever.

5) She LOVES the Olympics. And staying true to form, her favorite event is men's swimming. It's got all her favorite components: guys in Speedos, a pool and Michael Phelps -- her latest boy crush.

6) She was talking to my mom on the phone the other day. My mom said, "Love you, Allie," and Allie responded, "wuv oooo gamma."

7) Her daycare lady, Amber, has been working with the kids on weaning them off their "security blankets." Each kid has his/her own cubby, and after nap time, the kids usually go and put their security blankets in their cubby. Allie of course has Wubby, Drake has Bear, Paxton has Twiddle, Seven has her blanket, and Bentley has a stuffed frog. (Side note: Wubby has been officially dubbed "Wubby in the Cubby.") :) So when I get there to pick her up, it's anybody's guess as to whether Wubby is still in the cubby, or if he's elsewhere in the house. Amber and I always ask her where Wubby is, and we make a game out of it -- we put our hands up to our mouths like we're calling out to someone and say, "Wubby! Wubby, where are you?" Now when we ask Allie where Wubby is, she puts her little hands up to her mouth and calls out, "Bubby! Bubbies bubbies!" and then usually runs right to wherever he is. :)