Teaching Responsibility

Growing up, my parents had my brother and me do daily chores. The chores were age-appropriate, and increased in responsibility and amount.

We also got a monthly allowance. Our allowance was never tied into our chores, because my parents believed the two should be separate. We did chores because that comes with being part of a family. Our allowance was designed to teach us how to spend, budget, save and invest our money wisely.

In addition to our regular chores, we had the option to take on an extra chore or two, which was rewarded with extra money. My parents gave us this option to teach us work ethic. If we willingly took on more responsibility, then we were rewarded. And there were always those "special chores" that weren't available all the time, like shoveling the driveway when it snowed or mowing the lawn -- things like that.

These practices growing up resulted in my brother and me developing good skills as adults. We know how to budget wisely and live within our means. We understand the value of money (in the sense that we don't waste it, not like as a driving force). We understand the importance of chores and responsibilities that come with being part of a family.

I wanted to instill these concepts in Allie early on. A little after she turned two, I explained to her the concept of chores. I told her a chore was something that we had to do around the house regularly, like washing the clothes, doing the dishes, etc., and now that she was old enough, she was going to get her very own special chore.

She was so very excited about this. At the time (and still to this day), she loves helping me and doing things with me. She often helps me fold laundry, bake, cook or wash the dishes.

Obviously at her age, there are chores that wouldn't be appropriate for her to do, like scoop poop from the cat box or take the trash down to the dumpster, but that goes without saying.

I gave Allie the chore of feeding the cats and dog in the evening and showed her how to do it, then had her do it with me a few times. Except I did give her a reward for doing her chore with a cheerful attitude. A two-year-old (and then a three-year-old, and now a four-year-old) is very reward-oriented, so I decided to reward her with coins to put in her piggy bank.

At first, I had to remind Allie to feed the animals, but she always very excitedly exclaimed, "Oh yeah!" and then ran to grab the food bins while calling the animals to come get dinner. After awhile, as soon as we got home from daycare in the evening, she would hang her coat on the doorknob, drop her stuff, and do her usual routine of calling to the fluffies that it was dinner time.

Her arms are equally as strong as her determination.

Tooters, Fat Cat, and Wem's tail wait not-so-patiently for dinner.

Once Allie's piggy bank was full, I took her to the bank to exchange her coins for "big girl money." We must've spent about an hour there while she and I rolled all her coins. Then, I gave her the envelope with her big girl money, and we went to the store so she could pick out a toy.

Outside the bank with her piggy full of hard-earned coins

So proud of her envelope of "big girl" money

She picked out a princess dress, princess shoes, and a Little Mermaid music set.

Last year in November, right around the holiday season, Allie and I were walking into Hobby Lobby when the Salvation Army bell ringer caught her attention. "Mommy, what's he doing?" she asked me. I explained to her that there are little kids who don't have enough food to eat, and all the money that people put in the red bucket helps those kids to have food. "You know when you're hungry, and you get to eat a snack, or dinner or something?" I asked. She nodded. "Well those little kids don't get that. When they're hungry, they can't eat, because their parents don't have enough money to buy them food." 

"Oh." Allie nodded like she understood, and we walked past the Salvation Army bell ringer and into the store. I didn't give the red bucket a second though and focused on my shopping list. After a few minutes, I noticed that Allie was awfully quiet, and was just sitting in the cart staring at her hands.

"Are you okay?"

"No, mommy. Me sad."

"Why are you sad?"

She looked up at me with a solemn expression on her face. "Mommy, those kids no have food, and that makes me sad." 

The look on her face almost tore my heart out. "Yeah, it is sad," I told her. I dug around in my wallet and pulled out the few coins I had in there. "Do you want to put this in the bucket on our way out?"

Her face lit up. "Yeah!" She held her hand out. "And more. Me need more."

I told her that was the only change I had, but if she wanted, she could take some of the coins out of her piggy bank and put them in the bucket.

I fully expected her to say no and forget about the whole thing, but instead, her face lit up even more and she excitedly told me yes, she wanted to do that.

I kind of tried to talk her out of it. I didn't think she understood what she was doing, and I carefully explained to her that if she put her money in the red bucket, then she wouldn't have it anymore to buy toys or whatever she picked out.

Allie nodded. "But those kids need to eat."

We finished shopping, drove home, fetched her piggy bank, and drove back to Hobby Lobby. We walked over to the Salvation Army bell ringer and Allie gently set her piggy bank on the sidewalk. I reminded her again that putting her money in the bucket meant she wouldn't have it anymore. "I know, you said that already," she replied.

"Okay then," I told her. I also mentioned that she only had to put in a few coins. 

And for over an hour, Allie stood there and very patiently put every single coin from her piggy bank in the red bucket, one-by-one. I cried, the man ringing the bell cried, people who stopped by to drop in money cried. I had never been prouder of my tender-hearted little girl.

When she was finished, the man handed her the bell and let her ring it.

My heart swelled with love and pride for her. And I was rebuked. How many times do I walk past that red bucket, knowing full well what the Salvation Army does for people, yet I don't even give it a second glance? And here was my little preschooler, recognizing the need for other children to eat, and she gave every single coin she had without a second thought.

And to this day, she still cheerfully does her chores every day. And makes a fashion statement while doing so.